My Dad Always Says...

  • If it isn't broke, fix it till it is.
  • I don't get even, I get odder.
  • I am having an out of money experience.
  • I am in shape. Round is a shape.
  • I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of widths.
  • Practice safe eating, always use condiments.
  • Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
  • Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
  • It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
  • If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
  • If it weren't for me, there'd just be a pile of my clothes on the floor.
  • I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.