Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples: 1. The future of "I give" is "I take." 2. The parts of speech are lungs and air. 3. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes. 4. A census … Continue Reading →

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, … Continue Reading →

Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with … Continue Reading →

I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sings "Silent Night".Age 5 I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.Age 7 I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.Age 9 I've learned that just when … Continue Reading →

(A quick check list for those who need to make contact.] 1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving … Continue Reading →

The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations. Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious! Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must … Continue Reading →