A woman asked her doctor for birth control pills. "Ma'am, how old are you?" "I'm 75." "What possible need do you have for birth control pills?" "They help me sleep better." The doctor looked perplexed. "Just how do birth control pills help you sleep?" "I sneak them into my granddaughter's orange juice every morning!"

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought … Continue Reading →

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the … Continue Reading →

A guy went on a date with a girl and it went so well that they ended up back at HER place. They went up stairs and they started having sex, after giving it to her 5 times the guy's bellend was red raw so when she was sleeping he went downstairs to find some … Continue Reading →

A local bank is very pleased to announce that they are installing new Drive-through ATMs where their customers will be able withdraw cash without leaving their vehicle. Male and Female procedures have been tailored to best reflect the behaviours of those particular groupings. PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS: 1. Drive up to the ATM2. Open the … Continue Reading →

A Rich old man, who inherited all his money from his father, One day asks his young wife: "Honey, would you still have married me if my father didn't leave me with all this money?". His wife smiles gently and answers: "Sure honey, you know I would marry you no matter who gave you the … Continue Reading →