One day a little boy went up to his father to get some help on his vocabulary homework. He had a hard time figuring out what theoretically and realistically meant. He went to his father and asked, "dad, what does theoretically and realistically mean?"His father said, "well son, if you want to know, then this … Continue Reading →

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the … Continue Reading →

It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff. As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put … Continue Reading →

A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph. He then says, "I don't want … Continue Reading →

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She said, But we don't know anything about each other. He said, That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along. So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very … Continue Reading →

Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't … Continue Reading →