Police: Do you know what is the correct way of getting bail.
Judge: Yes, a note of Rs 100 under the table.

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya.

Sagaai hui...
Shadi Hui...
Biwi ghar main aayi...
Ghar SWARG ban gaya...
Aur main... SWARGWASI...

Sardar: Kis se baat kar rahe ho.
Mohan: Biwi se...
Sardar: Itne... Pyar se...?
Mohan: Tumhari hai...

May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol,
And decrease sorrows like clothes of Mallika Sherawat.

Yanha khuda hai, wahan khuda hai,
Jahan nahin khuda wahan kal khudega.

Nurse: Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye !
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga !

Sardar: Oye Yaar! agar electricity nahi hoti to kya hota?
Santa: Kuch nahi yaar, hame candle light me T.V dekhna padta…

Teacher: Make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times.
Sardar: Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara and she becomes Lara Lara.

One tourist from U.K. asked to an Indian: Any great man born in this village?
He replies: no sir, only small Babies !

Q: Why Sardar is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth?
A: Because Doctor has advised him: Aaj Light Khana hai !

Sardar sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala Mahaan, padhnewala Gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala Gadha, padhnewala Mahaan.

Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road... Why?
Just confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office.

Shaadi aur mobile me kya similarity hai?
Sirf dimag me ek hi sooch aati hai ki,
Thode din aur ruk jata to naya model mil jata

Sardar proposed a Girl for marriage.
Girl: I'm 1 year elder to you...
Sardar: Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.